C\u00e2nd e\u015fti acas\u0103, totu-\u0163i pute: claxoanele \u00ee\u0163i spulber\u00e3 creierii, alarmele \u0163ip\u0103 de parc\u0103 \u00een secunda urm\u0103toare \u015fi \u00eencepe atacul nuclear, manelele duduie din Mer\u0163ane, interac\u0163iunea cu posesorii lor e o bucurie f\u0103r\u0103 sf\u00e2r\u015fit, covorul de semin\u0163e e omniprezent, gropile a\u015fijderea. Cum \u00ee\u0163i scade vigilen\u0163a, cum te-ai ales cu-o \u0163eap\u0103. \u015ei toat\u0103 lumea url\u0103. Iar c\u00e2nd deschizi televizorul… Mare blestem s\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u015fti pe aici! C\u00e2nd e\u015fti, \u00eens\u0103, pe alte meleaguri, perspectiva se inverseaz\u0103 cu gr\u0103bire. Mi-aduc aminte c\u0103 odat\u0103, \u00een parcarea din fa\u0163a unui castel din Maastricht, am z\u0103rit un Duster negru cu num\u0103r de Olanda. Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 \u0163op\u0103i \u00een jurul lui \u015fi s\u0103-l fotografiez din toate pozi\u0163iile. Parc\u0103 nu mai v\u0103zusem ma\u015fin\u0103 \u00een via\u0163a mea! Dar faptul c\u0103 marfa \u015fi calitatea noastr\u0103 se aflau reprezentate \u00een lume m\u0103 umfla de m\u00e2ndrie na\u0163ional\u0103.
\nCu vreo nou\u0103 ani \u00een urm\u0103, m\u0103 aflam la Paris, \u00een ultimele zile de sejur. Prietena care m\u0103 g\u0103zduia m\u0103 \u00eendrumase c\u0103tre un magazin mai ieftin de unde s\u0103 t\u00e2rguiesc ceva suveniruri pentru cei de acas\u0103. M\u0103 foiam printre rochi\u0163e cu calculatorul mental \u00een fl\u0103c\u0103ri de at\u00e2tea socoteli \u015fi convertiri euro-lei. L\u00e2ng\u0103 mine, dou\u0103 negrese tinere \u00ee\u015fi treceau lene\u015f m\u00e2na printre st\u0103mburi. \u015ei deodat\u0103 la radio aud parc\u0103 un refren cunoscut: Ma-Ya-Hi, Ma-Ya-Ho, apoi ceva \u00een limba rom\u00e2n\u0103. \u015ei nu mic\u0103 mi-a fost mirarea c\u00e2nd fetele \u00eencep s\u0103 fredoneze vesele \u015fi s\u0103-\u015fi legene posteriorul \u015fi \u015foldurile generoase pe ritmurile lui O-Zone. Fe\u0163ele lor, toate numai z\u00e2mbet! \u00cemi venea s\u0103 le sar de g\u00e2t \u015fi s\u0103 le pup, nu alta!
\n\u00centr-o alt\u0103 excursie, la M\u00fcnchen, m\u0103 urc \u00eentr-un taxi. \u015eoferi\u0163a m\u0103 \u00eentreab\u0103 de unde sunt. Din Rom\u00e2nia. \u015ei tam-nesam \u00eemi declar\u0103: \u201eTe iubesc!\u201d. Am r\u0103mas perplex\u0103. Poate ar\u0103tam mai bine \u00een ziua aia?, m-am \u00eembujorat \u00een prima secund\u0103. Dar dac\u0103 vrea s\u0103 m\u0103 r\u0103peasc\u0103? Pe moment, zeci de situa\u0163ii mi-au trecut prin cap. M\u0103 speriasem, \u00eens\u0103, de poman\u0103. Doamna din fa\u0163\u0103 m-a l\u0103murit: cu dou\u0103zeci de ani \u00een urm\u0103, c\u00e2nd s-a c\u0103s\u0103torit, \u00eendr\u0103gostit\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 peste urechi, \u00eenv\u0103\u0163ase cum se spune \u201ete iubesc\u201d \u00een vreo patruzeci de limbi. Ca s\u0103-\u015fi delecteze so\u0163ul \u00een fiecare zi cu o declara\u0163ie \u00een alte sonorit\u0103\u0163i! Iar acum, ori de c\u00e2te ori avea prilejul, \u00ee\u015fi exersa cuno\u015ftin\u0163ele.
\nSe termina vacan\u0163a \u015fi g\u00e2rbovit\u0103 de triste\u0163e, cu lacrimi \u00een ochi, f\u0103ceam check-in-ul \u00een aeroportul din Bali. Cu o polite\u0163e irepro\u015fabil\u0103, func\u0163ionarul i se adreseaz\u0103 prietenului meu: \u201eExcuse me, sir, are you from Romania?\u201d. Lucrul era ca \u015fi evident, doar avea pa\u015faportul lui \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103. \u00cen prim\u0103 instan\u0163\u0103, m-am g\u00e2ndit \u201eDoamne, o fi venit vreunul de-ai no\u015ftri s\u0103 fure \u015fi de prin Bali?\u201d. Dar b\u0103rbatul din fa\u0163a noastr\u0103, v\u0103dit \u00eenc\u00e2ntat, \u00eei cere o favoare: \u201eCould you tell me, please, what Nu m\u0103, nu m\u0103, nu m\u0103 iei means?\u201d. Asta da provocare c\u00e2nd ai \u00een spate o coad\u0103 de treizeci de oameni! \u015ei nu numai atunci. Azi-noapte, m-am documentat pe internet la \u201elyrics\u201d O-Zone, nu cumva s\u0103 gre\u015fesc transcrierea. \u015ei, cu toat\u0103 forma\u0163ia mea de umanist, nici nu vreau s\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc ce m-a\u015f fi f\u0103cut dac\u0103-mi c\u0103dea la bac o analiz\u0103 de text O-Zone. A\u015f fi dat din col\u0163 \u00een col\u0163. Dar acolo, la mii de kilometri de Rom\u00e2nia, cre\u015ftea inima \u00een mine de bucurie c\u00e2t casa.
\nDar nu chiar at\u00e2t ca \u00eentr-o alt\u0103 situa\u0163ie. \u00cen aceea\u015fi zi cu magazinul din Paris, m\u0103 dusesem s\u0103 v\u0103d Opera Bastille. Pe dinafar\u0103, evident. \u015ei tot \u00eenv\u00e2rtindu-m\u0103 de colo p\u00e2n\u0103 colo \u00een fa\u0163a intr\u0103rii, z\u0103resc dou\u0103 doamne elegante, fine, care se posteaz\u0103 \u00een fa\u0163a programului \u015fi \u00ee\u015fi scot, din po\u015fetele lor frumoase, carne\u0163elul ca s\u0103-\u015fi noteze ceva. Ce? Datele \u00een care erau programate spectacolele lui Andrei \u015eerban. \u00cemi venea s\u0103 strig \u201e\u015ei eu sunt din Rom\u00e2nia, \u015fi eu sunt din Rom\u00e2nia!\u201d.
\nUneori e at\u00e2t de pl\u0103cut s\u0103 fii din Rom\u00e2nia…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
C\u00e2nd e\u015fti acas\u0103, totu-\u0163i pute: claxoanele \u00ee\u0163i spulber\u00e3 creierii, alarmele \u0163ip\u0103 de parc\u0103 \u00een secunda urm\u0103toare \u015fi \u00eencepe atacul nuclear, manelele duduie din Mer\u0163ane, interac\u0163iunea cu posesorii lor e o bucurie f\u0103r\u0103 sf\u00e2r\u015fit, covorul de semin\u0163e e omniprezent, gropile a\u015fijderea. Cum \u00ee\u0163i scade vigilen\u0163a, cum te-ai ales cu-o \u0163eap\u0103. \u015ei toat\u0103 lumea url\u0103. Iar c\u00e2nd… Cite\u0219te mai mult »Ma-Ya-Hi, Ma-Ya-Ho, ura, sunt din Rom\u00e2nia!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[66],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20779","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-arte-media"],"views":1899,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacultura.ro\/nou\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20779","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacultura.ro\/nou\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacultura.ro\/nou\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacultura.ro\/nou\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacultura.ro\/nou\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20779"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/revistacultura.ro\/nou\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20779\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacultura.ro\/nou\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20779"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacultura.ro\/nou\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20779"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacultura.ro\/nou\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20779"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}